Well, the vainest gal I've ever seen,
Is one I'll call the "Thrift Store Queen."
Every day you'll see her there
With her button nose raised in the air.


"Do you have Ferragamos today?
Please call when they arrive," she'll say,
Then "Look, my dear, here's a Jones of New York,
Go on, buy it, you'll wow ‘em at work.


The cash register man is smiling,
Puttin' on airs is so beguiling,
"Oh, here's a Neiman Marcus tag,
Let's see if we can find a matching bag."


Clothes in a cart, she stands in line,
Smacking gum and feelin' so fine,
"How much, sir, do I have to pay,"
"Just Five Fifty Five," I hear him say.


‘Oh, I guess that's all right, use my Talbot's bag,
How things have gone up, I remember the day,
When I could have bought much more than that,
They've even gone up on the rent on my flat."


Waving her hand with one silk glove,
She says "Thank you so much, my love."
It's been a joy to shop with you,
I'll recommend you to more than a few.


She picked up a straw hat and added a dollar,
Asked the cashier man to carry her bag to her car,
He's accommodating, he's been there before,
And with a flourish he opens her ‘70 Ford's door

© By Norma (Twi1ite@sbcglobal.net)

The phrase.."Vanity..Thy name is woman." is definitely in need of an update!
With every product that was invented for women to use to divert the ravages of time, Men now have twice as many.


Nowadays, baldness isn't a big deal. Men are shaving the head regardless of what is or isn't growing on it.


But they can have hair transplants or buy a toupee if they prefer to cover the scalp.


They can change the color that has faded to grey if they want to.
Used to be that grey hair on a man made him distinguished.
On a woman, Extinguished.


Women usually would be more likely to admit that they have had
"Work done", A man would deny it totally!


I have let my hair go as grey as ashes...and I invoke the senior citizen discount as often as I can.


I am proud of every wrinkle I have..even the ones not on public view. I treat my bras as impediments to my breathing.


HOO-HAH...My vanity has died a noble death of old age.

© By Swampetta (SWAMPETTA@aol.com)

Women can't help it
We're as vain as can be
Who looks more spiffy
Or better than me?


Got my toes painted
Put blush on my face
Big hoop earrings
Everything in place.


So if you see this beauty
In a Dollar Store aisle
Be sure to say "howdy"
And I'll give you a smile.

© By Frannie (Frannie516@comcast.net)

You're so vain, you probably think I would write you a poem, all about you.
You're so vain, you probably think to you I would be totally true.



You're so vain, you probably think the world revolves around your every thought.
You're so vain, you think you owe it to everyone to be taught.



You're so vain, you probably think you are the leading authority on every subject and only you know all the answers, and they're all right.



I am here to tell you that you're so vain, you deserve to be told ------, but I'm too polite.

© By Phyllis Ann (Starbird55@comcast.net)

ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF A VANITY TABLE I HAD ONE WHEN I WAS SMALL. AN OLD KIDNEY- SHAPED TABLE WITH A PORTABLE THREE-WAY MIRROR.

WE HANDLED THAT MIRROR WITH CARE FOR YEARS AND YEARS.

WE THUMBTACKED CHINTZ FABRIC AROUND THE BOTTOM OF THE KIDNEY-SHAPED TABLE,OR OUR MOM'S MADE CURTAIN-LIKE THINGS TO HANG ON IT


DO ALL OF YOU REMEMBER THOSE?

© By Amy (Fabulousfilly@aol.com)

She sat at her vanity musing.
It was five minutes before she went on.
Her make-up was done,
her wig was in place.
She was gowned and had her shoes on.


In five minutes she would give her last Broadway performance,
she wanted to give the audience her best.
Armloads of flowers had been delivered,
her dressing room smelled heavenly.
"Two minutes, Miss Canfield....."


She reached for the white lace handerchief on her vanity,
smiled into the mirror, turned, and walked to the door.
The orchestra was playing, the lights were low.
She stepped onto the stage and the curtain opened.
The spotlight came on and the audience came to their feet.
She blew them a kiss and waited.
It was her opening aria and she glowed.

© By Marilyn (LaraOct7@aol.com)

Am I vain, am I a braggart,
Does my ego precede me?


Am I better than others around,
Or is it all a big façade?


Do I strut and try to act the part,
Do I flaunt what others have not?


Am I me or someone else,
Do I really enjoy standing by the garden gate?


Oh such a web some do weave,
Most in order to deceive,
To fakily grin and look about,
As we act as if we were someone else?


Is vanity a sin?
Guess it depends on just how you look.
Do people just sneer and poo poo you off,
Or do they take you as a fake?


Is vanity being positive,
Or is it trying to a façade project?
Not being just yourself
And letting folks like you
As you really are?


We all have or have had dreams,
And oh our real desires.
But reality stepped in the mix,
And we for a most part,
Are just occupying space.


But I guess to me, anyway,
Feeling content and
Accepting your hand in life,
Being sedate with your life,
And walking down the road of life?

© By Tom (tomWYO@aol.com)